Saturday, February 9, 2013
I Know a Murderer...
I'd never thought I would ever say the sentence "I know a murderer" and be speaking the truth. Now, to be honest, there are some individuals that I would be less surprised to be saying this about...Turkey was not one of those people.
In fifth grade, none of us went by our own names, some of our names made sense, others were random: None of the twenty-eight students would be able to give you the meanings behind half of them. Turkey was one of these. His name was David, the class clown. It didn't matter who you were or what kind of a day you were having, David could make you laugh. He wasn't the kind of clown that didn't care about school, David got excellent grades and knew when he needed to buckle down and do his work. Together, with about five other students, we stayed in from recess to read a book about the fifth grade being a dungeon: a popular line in the novel was "What's up Pussycat"....David would then proceed to sing the lyrics "What's up Pussycat, woah, woah, woah, oohhh" as he danced around making the rest of us laugh.
The end of the year came quick. The class had a chocolate pudding fight outside, fourth graders against the fifth graders. "We are family" by SisterSledge played at our graduation. We signed yearbooks: Turkey signed mine. The next year, I went on to the middle school while Turkey's family moved and he finished off elementary at a different school. We never saw much of eachother after that since we were no longer in the same classroom all day.
I would see Turkey in passing in the halls of high school occasionally. We both ended up at the birthday party of a mutual friend and talked about the days of elementary school. He was in show choir and involved in most of the theatre shows: he was still the clown. I'm sure David wasn't the perfect student, but he was still a pretty good kid.
David started dating Taylor, I'm not sure for how long, but he was head over heels for this girl-a smart, cute, talented and kind popular girl. I remember coming to school one day to hear it announced that Taylor was tragically killed in a car accident the night before: The school was devastated (her's would be marked as the sixth traffic fatality in 10 weeks within our corporation), but David's heart was ripped in two. I remember people commenting at how torn he was at the funeral, how he kissed Taylor one last time and held her hand before the casket was closed (Students had said that David was out bowling with Taylor and other friends the night the crash had happened, the reason Taylor was driving home that night).
Our newspapers and new stations are currently flooded with the story of a 20-year-old man charged with two counts of murder-for stabbing his 7-year-old half-sister "Jilly" and his mother. Word is that he stabbed his mother and sister with a two-pronged meat fork; his sister was also found to have blunt force trauma to the head. His mother had managed to call 911 before dying: Jilly was rushed to the hospital and died there from her injuries. When emergency services arrived at the scene, they found David in the room, clothes covered in blood and holding the murder weapon. David had sat and watched his mother die and little sister suffer. I still can't believe it. This man can't possibly be Turkey.
Our class clown, Taylor's first love, a business student at IU, is being tested to see about an insanity plea, is now facing charges for 2 counts of murder, and most likely a double life sentence without parole. He was once one of us, a small town kid, suffering from the death of a friend-he is now the reason 18 first graders are trying to understand why there is an empty desk in their classroom.
I'm sitting here, trying to wrap my mind around how a person can change that much. I've always believed that every murderer, every criminal has a family that knows a different side of them; but, I've never thought I would be one of those people. I never thought that I would be sitting here thinking that a murderer is a normal person, a funny boy who just wants to put a smile on your face, a dancing show choir performer, a stage crew member who would do anything to steal an extra minute with his girlfriend.
If you read the comments on any of the new pages, they are filled with people wishing a horrible death on David, people talking about how he must have been another lowlife teenager who's mommy stopped giving him handouts, or turning 2 deaths into a political debate on guns. All I ask is that you pray for the community, for the family who is suffering 2 deaths as well as the pain of a cousin, a grandson, a son, a nephew, a friend, a brother, being at fault and locked up in prison before he graduated from college.
I'm asking you to look deeper into people, to not only see the wrongful acts that they have committed, but see the person behind those acts-see the child that they once were, the tears that they have cried, the friends that they had/have. I beg you to look at everyone you see as a person equal to you. Show each one the forgiveness, grace, compassion that you want to be shown when you mess up.
I can say I know a murderer, but long before I could say I knew a boy...Turkey.
Monday, January 7, 2013
2012: The Year of Trust.
I know that it is now a week into 2013; making me slightly late on writing the classic end-of-the-year 2012 blog. However, I will admit that I have spent a lot of time in the last week contemplating the life change that transpired over 2012 that I never took the time to notice before. Each year, I don't make New Year's Resolutions...because, well, the majority of people give up on those before Valentine's Day. Instead, I pick a focus word/phrase-one that I want to focus my prayers on, study through books and Bible reading and try to develop in my life.
Last year's word was Trust. With only being five letters, one would think that this would be an easy character pillar to develop. False- at least for me being a control freak, trust is one of the hardest things one could ask me to do. The dictionary definition of trust is "the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence." You could ask any of my close friends, they will all tell you that it is even hard for me to trust them at times. I simply don't like putting control in someone else's hands. If I trust someone else, they have the opportunity to hurt me even more.
So through much prayer and study of trust, I can see that I have made so much progress in this area. Yes, I'm definitely not perfect but I am a work in progress when it comes to trust.
1.) Close to the beginning of the year, after not so much time studying trust, I was given the opportunity to trust a boy. Being 21, This is something most of my peers have done before-yet I had never allowed myself to trust in a relationship with a boy. Though neither of the men that I dated in 2012 have proven to be "The One" and even though they both would tell you that trust issues definitely came to play during both of these relationships. This is true: however, I have made so much progress. I opened up immensely to both of these Godly men. I allowed God to open up my heart to trust them with an aspect of my life and I will admit that it was a beautiful thing. I will always be grateful for the change that God did in me through these patient and compassionate men.
2.) In the beginning of second semester, I was again provided the amazing opportunity to be a Campus Ministry Coordinator. I had loved serving in this job for the past two years and was so excited to serve for a third year on Hardy First (a floor that I had to trust God to get). This year was immediately going to prove to hold some challenges. I would be serving as a CMC on a underclassmen-dominant floor while going through my Senior year AND Student Teaching. Though I'm still only done with one semester of serving, God has quickly shown me that I am beyond blessed to live in community with this year's group of girls at this time in my life. I have already learned so much because of each of these girls and have opened up to trust even more.
3.) At the end of my Junior year, God gave me the opportunity to live in Huntington over the summer with my best friend. This would mean that I would have to pay rent and not save as much money as I needed to. However, I trusted God to carry me through the summer. Because of a very generous Business Office at Huntington University, I made it through financially. The end of the summer would hold one of the biggest challenges of trust I have had to endure: my best friend moving back to Colorado. I had to trust that though their would now be 24 hours separating us, our friendship wouldn't falter. There have been some tough times, but I would say that we are stronger than ever before.
4.) Naomi moving back to Colorado after having her right there for everything this summer was tough. The space forced me to rely totally on God as I began the hardest year of my life. I've always struggled with trusting God with my life. I want control of my life. I want to set my own plans. The last semester has held so much growth in my relationship with God. I have learned so much about His enduring love and grace and what it means to live in His example. I am truly beginning to trust God's will in my life and not my own as I enter the last bit of my Senior year.
Now there have been other opportunities to learn about trust, but I don't want to write another one of those super long end-of-the-year posts. Instead, I wanted to be vulnerable and beg the reader to look into their own life as to where they could learn to trust. Trust in relationships. Trust in yourself. Trust in your family and friends. Beyond all else, Trust in God.
Last year's word was Trust. With only being five letters, one would think that this would be an easy character pillar to develop. False- at least for me being a control freak, trust is one of the hardest things one could ask me to do. The dictionary definition of trust is "the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence." You could ask any of my close friends, they will all tell you that it is even hard for me to trust them at times. I simply don't like putting control in someone else's hands. If I trust someone else, they have the opportunity to hurt me even more.
So through much prayer and study of trust, I can see that I have made so much progress in this area. Yes, I'm definitely not perfect but I am a work in progress when it comes to trust.
1.) Close to the beginning of the year, after not so much time studying trust, I was given the opportunity to trust a boy. Being 21, This is something most of my peers have done before-yet I had never allowed myself to trust in a relationship with a boy. Though neither of the men that I dated in 2012 have proven to be "The One" and even though they both would tell you that trust issues definitely came to play during both of these relationships. This is true: however, I have made so much progress. I opened up immensely to both of these Godly men. I allowed God to open up my heart to trust them with an aspect of my life and I will admit that it was a beautiful thing. I will always be grateful for the change that God did in me through these patient and compassionate men.
2.) In the beginning of second semester, I was again provided the amazing opportunity to be a Campus Ministry Coordinator. I had loved serving in this job for the past two years and was so excited to serve for a third year on Hardy First (a floor that I had to trust God to get). This year was immediately going to prove to hold some challenges. I would be serving as a CMC on a underclassmen-dominant floor while going through my Senior year AND Student Teaching. Though I'm still only done with one semester of serving, God has quickly shown me that I am beyond blessed to live in community with this year's group of girls at this time in my life. I have already learned so much because of each of these girls and have opened up to trust even more.
3.) At the end of my Junior year, God gave me the opportunity to live in Huntington over the summer with my best friend. This would mean that I would have to pay rent and not save as much money as I needed to. However, I trusted God to carry me through the summer. Because of a very generous Business Office at Huntington University, I made it through financially. The end of the summer would hold one of the biggest challenges of trust I have had to endure: my best friend moving back to Colorado. I had to trust that though their would now be 24 hours separating us, our friendship wouldn't falter. There have been some tough times, but I would say that we are stronger than ever before.
4.) Naomi moving back to Colorado after having her right there for everything this summer was tough. The space forced me to rely totally on God as I began the hardest year of my life. I've always struggled with trusting God with my life. I want control of my life. I want to set my own plans. The last semester has held so much growth in my relationship with God. I have learned so much about His enduring love and grace and what it means to live in His example. I am truly beginning to trust God's will in my life and not my own as I enter the last bit of my Senior year.
Now there have been other opportunities to learn about trust, but I don't want to write another one of those super long end-of-the-year posts. Instead, I wanted to be vulnerable and beg the reader to look into their own life as to where they could learn to trust. Trust in relationships. Trust in yourself. Trust in your family and friends. Beyond all else, Trust in God.
"Trust is the Lord, your God, with all of your heart. Lean not on your own understanding and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
Friday, December 14, 2012
Response of an "Almost-Educator"
My sophomore year, I had a friend. This friend was a very confused individual who consistently thought about forcing the world around him to feel his own pain and confusion. This didn't scare me away from being his friend, it actually drew me closer to him. [there's something inside of me that likes to fix people] I remember coming to school one day and not seeing this boy's face: I would come to learn that a hit-list was found in his locker. [a list of all the people he would injure if the opportunity arose, possibly a school shooting]. He and I never really talked after that day, though...last time I looked him up, he was on the color guard of some school down south. As I looked his name up today, he was nowhere to be found...causing me to wonder if he ever got the help that he desperately needed...or if this red-headed, passionate about music, artistic individual would become a student pushed to the shadows, being tossed back and forth without ever recieving help.
My junior year, [potentially my senior year, but I think junior] I arrived at school as usual, wandering the halls with my friends [waiting until we absolutely had to be in class]. This morning was different than the rest, there was a heavy feeling as you walked the halls absent of teachers [for they were all being debriefed in the library]. My best friend already knew as she walked into the building in tears. We would soon be informed over the announcements that one of our fellow students had died the night before...a suicide that nobody saw coming. [unfortunetly the first of many to come] Over the next few days, thousands of thoughts raced through my mind: class was practically on hold, students filled the auditorium where counselors were, the entire school was dismissed for the funeral-we were trapped in a state of disbelief and confusion. People would come to blame the teachers, the parents, friends. [placing blame takes the heat off of yourself]. I remember seeing the horror on our teachers' faces as they dealt with the news themselves, and tried to be a stronghold for their students. I couldn't even imagine-when you sign up to be a teacher, you don't think about ever having to debrief your students on such news once...let alone the dozen more deaths we would be told of.
By my senior year, my school had suffered nearly a dozen deaths of all sorts-and there were plenty more students who were somehow saved at the last minute. By the last few-counseling was no longer a school-wide event, we didn't get dismissed for the funerals, and there were far less tears. We had grown used to this horror. As children, we barely understand the hell that underwent at Columbine, but we would grow to learn more about it, about Virgina Tech, about the Amish Shootings and more. We became disensitized to the hell that often over took schools-that killed high school students, even endangered middle school students.
My senior year we would also learn of a complete accident that would take four special needs students lives. A bus wreck that would make national news-pain struck our school once again. There had been other young students die within the past few years, but nothing like four innocent souls taken at once. We couldn't come to understand a God that would allow this to happen, nobody fell at fault necessarily...we were all just left in a state of shock.
Now today, my senior year of college, and I turn on my computer to see the unexplainable news of more than twenty killed in elementary school shooting. Four years ago, my mind couldn't wrap itself around the idea of four innocent kids being killed on accident...four years later, I stand still incapable of wrapping my mind around this tragedy.
Going into education, especially that of middle school and high school, I dread having to deal with the death of a student, but realize that because of the sinful world of pain and trauma we live in, it is a good possibility. But elementary teachers, I would never think of them having to deal with these things. I don't even know how I would react in that situation, so I applaud the faculty who protected their students quickly and effienctly today. It is your selflessness and compassion for your students that I aspire to as a future educator. I pray for the families of those students-injured, dead or grieving; for the faculty who will remain scared of the shrieks and tears; but also the family of the accused and the confusion and blame that will be placed on them.
I pray that we, as students, as educators, as members of this country will not grow desensitized to news like we received today. I pray that our hearts will hurt for each piece of horror we hear-no matter how old. I pray that, as I enter the school building that I will never loose my sense of urgency with students. When I heard of my friend's hit-list, I dreamed of a school shooting-of not running away from this red-head, but instead running towards him-trying to find out why. When I heard of the many suicides within our corporation, I had always dreamed of meeting those students and being able to change. It is because of these tragedies that I find myself a semester away from becoming an educator. I pray that current educators aren't scared out of their positions but moved to take more action; that future educators don't quit out of fear but grow determined to really know their students; I pray that the students of every school have someone to listen, that each student has the courage to report any possibility of terror that they hear, no matter how small.
My junior year, [potentially my senior year, but I think junior] I arrived at school as usual, wandering the halls with my friends [waiting until we absolutely had to be in class]. This morning was different than the rest, there was a heavy feeling as you walked the halls absent of teachers [for they were all being debriefed in the library]. My best friend already knew as she walked into the building in tears. We would soon be informed over the announcements that one of our fellow students had died the night before...a suicide that nobody saw coming. [unfortunetly the first of many to come] Over the next few days, thousands of thoughts raced through my mind: class was practically on hold, students filled the auditorium where counselors were, the entire school was dismissed for the funeral-we were trapped in a state of disbelief and confusion. People would come to blame the teachers, the parents, friends. [placing blame takes the heat off of yourself]. I remember seeing the horror on our teachers' faces as they dealt with the news themselves, and tried to be a stronghold for their students. I couldn't even imagine-when you sign up to be a teacher, you don't think about ever having to debrief your students on such news once...let alone the dozen more deaths we would be told of.
By my senior year, my school had suffered nearly a dozen deaths of all sorts-and there were plenty more students who were somehow saved at the last minute. By the last few-counseling was no longer a school-wide event, we didn't get dismissed for the funerals, and there were far less tears. We had grown used to this horror. As children, we barely understand the hell that underwent at Columbine, but we would grow to learn more about it, about Virgina Tech, about the Amish Shootings and more. We became disensitized to the hell that often over took schools-that killed high school students, even endangered middle school students.
My senior year we would also learn of a complete accident that would take four special needs students lives. A bus wreck that would make national news-pain struck our school once again. There had been other young students die within the past few years, but nothing like four innocent souls taken at once. We couldn't come to understand a God that would allow this to happen, nobody fell at fault necessarily...we were all just left in a state of shock.
Now today, my senior year of college, and I turn on my computer to see the unexplainable news of more than twenty killed in elementary school shooting. Four years ago, my mind couldn't wrap itself around the idea of four innocent kids being killed on accident...four years later, I stand still incapable of wrapping my mind around this tragedy.
Going into education, especially that of middle school and high school, I dread having to deal with the death of a student, but realize that because of the sinful world of pain and trauma we live in, it is a good possibility. But elementary teachers, I would never think of them having to deal with these things. I don't even know how I would react in that situation, so I applaud the faculty who protected their students quickly and effienctly today. It is your selflessness and compassion for your students that I aspire to as a future educator. I pray for the families of those students-injured, dead or grieving; for the faculty who will remain scared of the shrieks and tears; but also the family of the accused and the confusion and blame that will be placed on them.
I pray that we, as students, as educators, as members of this country will not grow desensitized to news like we received today. I pray that our hearts will hurt for each piece of horror we hear-no matter how old. I pray that, as I enter the school building that I will never loose my sense of urgency with students. When I heard of my friend's hit-list, I dreamed of a school shooting-of not running away from this red-head, but instead running towards him-trying to find out why. When I heard of the many suicides within our corporation, I had always dreamed of meeting those students and being able to change. It is because of these tragedies that I find myself a semester away from becoming an educator. I pray that current educators aren't scared out of their positions but moved to take more action; that future educators don't quit out of fear but grow determined to really know their students; I pray that the students of every school have someone to listen, that each student has the courage to report any possibility of terror that they hear, no matter how small.
I pray that as a country, we don't crawl inside our homes, but we find the urgency and courage to reach out to those around us. To love without limits or boundaries. To not only hug our own children, but the child who is alone in the corner, without anyone to process with.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Blessed?
It's the day after Thanksgiving and I'm sitting here under piles of homework with a minor concussion contemplating what it looks like to be blessed. Seriously, what would it look like to wake up every morning, regardless of your circumstances and the state of the world we live in? How would this mindset transform our every day living?
We just celebrated the day of Thanksgiving, a day dedicated to giving thanks for the things we have and to be humbled by those that we are surrounded by. Think about the things that were present on the very first thanksgiving: the native americans and pilgrims came together to rejoice in making it through the harvest with the help of the other. There was no going through catalogs in order to make game plans for how to ambush the stores with the needed sale items for Christmas. There was simple thanks for the blessings that had been bestowed.
I saw something once on Pinterest saying that "Only in America will we spend one entire day thanking God for the things that we have, only to attack the stores the next day fighting each other for the things we don't have." First world problems at its finest.
What does it look like to set all of these thoughts aside and to truly realize that you are blessed? I have five lesson plans to write today, but I am blessed with the opportunity of education. I have a concussion, but I am blessed with pain medicine and rest. Being blessed transcends our circumstances and focuses on the One who stands above.
Think about it. Be transformed by truth.
Here's a song to help you out...
Rachael Lampa "Blessed"
<3
We just celebrated the day of Thanksgiving, a day dedicated to giving thanks for the things we have and to be humbled by those that we are surrounded by. Think about the things that were present on the very first thanksgiving: the native americans and pilgrims came together to rejoice in making it through the harvest with the help of the other. There was no going through catalogs in order to make game plans for how to ambush the stores with the needed sale items for Christmas. There was simple thanks for the blessings that had been bestowed.
I saw something once on Pinterest saying that "Only in America will we spend one entire day thanking God for the things that we have, only to attack the stores the next day fighting each other for the things we don't have." First world problems at its finest.
What does it look like to set all of these thoughts aside and to truly realize that you are blessed? I have five lesson plans to write today, but I am blessed with the opportunity of education. I have a concussion, but I am blessed with pain medicine and rest. Being blessed transcends our circumstances and focuses on the One who stands above.
Think about it. Be transformed by truth.
Here's a song to help you out...
Rachael Lampa "Blessed"
<3
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Broken Belief
It has become evident to me that many people are wandering around this world rarely paying attention to the people around them. I recently read the book "13 Reasons Why" by Jay Asher [which I highly recommend] which is about a teenager who committed suicide after making 13 tapes to send to the people she viewed responsible for her death. Some of these people had actually committed abusive acts towards her, while other simply neglected to care. She's dead. The news has been flooded with the story of Amanda Todd, a teenager from Canada who made a YouTube video telling the world of her bullying, admitting that she was alone and asking for help. A month later, she died.
We live in a broken world, this we are all aware of. Everyone we cross is most likely dealing with some kind of brokenness. Why is it that nobody seems to care? Why is it that we have people killing themselves around us because nobody answered their call for help? I understand that it is hard to tell if some people want help, but there are many others who are loudly calling out with nobody answering, leaving their voices to fade in to echoes that go unheard.
I live on a Christian campus, full of broken people, full of people who are called to show love and help carry each others burdens, yet, I could count the number of people who actually seem to care to look past the facade that people put up. I could count on one hand the number of people who are willing to question someone's answer "good" when asked how they are doing.
By no means am I saying that this is only a problem on this campus, it is a world problem. However, I do think Christians become too susceptible to over look other Christians in pain because they are consumed with trying to help unbelievers. We are too busy trying to make sure that everyone has the chance to hear of the gospel than we are with coming along side those who have heard and are hurting.
Yesterday, I went and heard my favorite speaker speak at a small community gathering, only to be shocked when he boldly said while talking about brokenness and pain that he was not talking to those who believed. Believers have pain. Some of the strongest Christians I know are the ones who are struggling the most, who have wrestled with faith the most: they are the ones who get overlooked during prayer, who people go to for help without ever offering to help.
Yes, believers have the assurance in the hand of God, but we are also crying out to just be heard by humans. True community is important. Listening, really listening, is imperative. Looking into someone's eyes and seeing past the glisten of the smile to the tear welling up is a necessity. So regardless of your faith, as you go about your day...seek out others, seek out the truth about them and be willing to listen, to walk along side them and carry their burdens.
People are calling out everywhere without someone ever hearing them because we are too consumed with ourselves. We are seeking out unbelievers while the believers are becoming lost. Don't be fooled by the people who have it all together, because they don't and they're probably just waiting for someone to realize that.
<3 D
We live in a broken world, this we are all aware of. Everyone we cross is most likely dealing with some kind of brokenness. Why is it that nobody seems to care? Why is it that we have people killing themselves around us because nobody answered their call for help? I understand that it is hard to tell if some people want help, but there are many others who are loudly calling out with nobody answering, leaving their voices to fade in to echoes that go unheard.
I live on a Christian campus, full of broken people, full of people who are called to show love and help carry each others burdens, yet, I could count the number of people who actually seem to care to look past the facade that people put up. I could count on one hand the number of people who are willing to question someone's answer "good" when asked how they are doing.
By no means am I saying that this is only a problem on this campus, it is a world problem. However, I do think Christians become too susceptible to over look other Christians in pain because they are consumed with trying to help unbelievers. We are too busy trying to make sure that everyone has the chance to hear of the gospel than we are with coming along side those who have heard and are hurting.
Yesterday, I went and heard my favorite speaker speak at a small community gathering, only to be shocked when he boldly said while talking about brokenness and pain that he was not talking to those who believed. Believers have pain. Some of the strongest Christians I know are the ones who are struggling the most, who have wrestled with faith the most: they are the ones who get overlooked during prayer, who people go to for help without ever offering to help.
Yes, believers have the assurance in the hand of God, but we are also crying out to just be heard by humans. True community is important. Listening, really listening, is imperative. Looking into someone's eyes and seeing past the glisten of the smile to the tear welling up is a necessity. So regardless of your faith, as you go about your day...seek out others, seek out the truth about them and be willing to listen, to walk along side them and carry their burdens.
People are calling out everywhere without someone ever hearing them because we are too consumed with ourselves. We are seeking out unbelievers while the believers are becoming lost. Don't be fooled by the people who have it all together, because they don't and they're probably just waiting for someone to realize that.
<3 D
Monday, July 16, 2012
Body Talk...Let's get Serious.
I'm about to get serious...so pay attention.
100% of Human Beings have bodies
Roughly 50% of Human beings are Female
An estimated 90% of Females are trained to shame their body
[all facts are completely my perception...everything could be false]
I have led teenagers for about 8 years now, I was a teenager for several years and just love teenagers....those are my credentials for being able to write this blog. In all my years of working specifically with teenage girls, I have realized that the majority of women are made to feel shame about their bodies in some way, shape or form. Listed below are categories that anger me and that often get over-looked that I have noticed and the things not to do.
1.) Girls who are (too) skinny. People assume too quickly that just because someone is of a thinner figure, the have an eating disorder. FALSE. Seriously, I have a pretty thin figure and it angers me when people make comments about how I need to eat more because I am just to skinny, or after hugging me, say that there is nothing to me. This is just as insulting as calling someone obese. My two best friends growing up are probably the skinniest people I have ever met....and they both can eat more than a grown man....and do. [Kelsey and I used to have to get 2 bags of pizza rolls just so she could have one entire bag to herself. Kasey has now had 2 beautiful little girls and is still as little as ever.] Point being: Skinny doesn't always mean not healthy.
The majority of skinny people that I have known have been perfectly healthy, yet we are made to feel shame towards our bodies because we look unhealthy. I have often heard the phrase grossly thin...how much more insulting can you get than calling someone gross!? That is a phrase we use for the slime that comes out of your nose, not beautiful women. I have known many of these body-typed girls who will actually make themselves sick eating so much in front of people just to prove that they are healthy. Athletic girls will stop working out in order to put on more body fat to appear "healthy", they will avoid going out with a group of people for fear of being scorned for it not taking as much to make them full as the other people at the table. A skinny girl saying that they are full most times means they are full....not that they are still hungry and just not going to eat.
2.) Girls who are physically attractive. I seriously have some of the most attractive friends one could picture. Seriously, they are all so stunning. They have bodies, hair and eyes that people would kill for, yet they have been taught to shame their bodies because they are a stumbling block. People automatically tend to assume that because these girls are attractive, that they are up for all sorts of pleasurable behaviors. Physically attractive girls have morals too. Girls tend to dislike others with this body-type because they are jealous because the guys aren't fawning over them....while the girls with this body-type are often wishing it away to not have to deal with their problems.
Now, I am a huge advocate of modesty [modesty is hottesty] but I am also a fan of wearing clothes that suit your body. However, many of these gorgeous girls are wearing over-sized clothes because they have been told that they cause the guys to stumble if they wear the same clothes everyone else is wearing. These girls are spending hours getting ready to play down their looks. The are going through numerous outfits to try to find one that it's fitted [normally, not even too tight]. Yes, women of faith are accountable for their clothing, but I firmly believe that guys need to do their fair share as well.
As I am writing this, Naomi just convicted me of my own stereotyping. I always stalk the girls that are going to be in the coming year because I want to know. Yet, every year I see all of the pretty faces and instantly fear each of the girls. I associate gorgeous girls with being super preppy and thereby not getting along with me at all. FALSE.
3.) Women who aren't the "perfect body-type" have more than brains. I hate the fact that skinny people are known more by their looks and heavier people are known for their brains/morals. Skinny people have brains/morals and heavy people have attractiveness. Seriously, some of my heavier friends have the most attractive physical characteristics that I have seen...the brightest eyes, the silkiest hair...yet people don't take time to notice because they don't have the ideal body.
These women are taught to shame their body because they aren't the most physically fit....when more times than thought, it's because of genetics. I am constantly seeing beautiful women hiding behind drab colors and baggy clothes because the world has made it clear that they don't want to see their bodies. Whereas the second category has learned to stay away from them because they are stumbling blocks, this category has learned that men aren't even looking in their direction. Shame.
4.) Introverted women deserve compliments too. Extroverted people receive compliments all the time, not because they are the most attractive people but because they tend to receive compliments better....mainly because they don't receive compliments as often so they freeze. Think about it, when was the last time that you openly complimented someone that was quieter and more closed-off? I have a friend who has one of the most stunning bone structures that I have ever seen, yet if you were to ask her when the last time was that someone told her anything like that...she would have no idea.
If you think about it, extroverted people tend to be seen as more confident...but what better way to build confidence than compliment people. I know, personally, I tend to think twice about giving a compliment. I question if I know the person well enough [what kind of thought is that?!], I question how they are going to respond, I rehearse the compliment in my head several times before I ever give it. So much thought....and usually it ends up in talking myself out of ever saying what I thought [or all of that thinking took too long]. Introverted people are just as stunning as any extrovert.
4.) Introverted women deserve compliments too. Extroverted people receive compliments all the time, not because they are the most attractive people but because they tend to receive compliments better....mainly because they don't receive compliments as often so they freeze. Think about it, when was the last time that you openly complimented someone that was quieter and more closed-off? I have a friend who has one of the most stunning bone structures that I have ever seen, yet if you were to ask her when the last time was that someone told her anything like that...she would have no idea.
If you think about it, extroverted people tend to be seen as more confident...but what better way to build confidence than compliment people. I know, personally, I tend to think twice about giving a compliment. I question if I know the person well enough [what kind of thought is that?!], I question how they are going to respond, I rehearse the compliment in my head several times before I ever give it. So much thought....and usually it ends up in talking myself out of ever saying what I thought [or all of that thinking took too long]. Introverted people are just as stunning as any extrovert.
To wrap-up [I am terribly sorry for the length of this rampage], I am going to challenge anyone who reads this to a few things.
1.) Compliment EVERY woman you come in contact with an attractive physical characteristic.
2.) Never make assumptions about a woman's morality based on their looks.
3.) Stay away from the comments, and alike ones, that I have talked about in this blog
4.) If you are a woman and reading this, go stand in front of the mirror and smile....be confident in your beauty because if you're not, nobody else is going to be.
Find Beauty.
Much Love & Prayer,
Danni
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Summer 2012 Top 10.
This summer has been a whirlwind of new adventures and I am definitely NOT ready to let it end. The past week, I have been doing a lot of thinking about this summer as a whole. There have been so many new experiences and new lessons that I have learned. This is my first time living away from home [have I mentioned that I live with my best friend....I mean this is like straight off of a TV sitcom!], my first time paying rent [and living on a pay check-a-month] and my first time making a long-distance relationship work [it is so worth it]. Anywho, I've learned a ton and thought that I would make a short list of some of the Life Lessons of Summer 2012....in no particular order.
1.) Kool-Aid can dye your hair....toothpaste can help take the color off of your hands: Naomi and I decided that since neither of us can really have permanently colored hair because of work/school, we would color our hair with Kool-Aid. [thank you Pinterest]. It was a blast and I smelled like grapes for a week!
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| Naomi and I after dying my hair. Notice the color of her hands.... |
3.) Every person deserves to be listened to. A few weeks ago, we went to hear one of my girls speak on her recent trip to Kenya. Afterwards, I was stopped by this boy who had some form of mental disability (I think autism). He was super sweet but kept talking for nearly three hours about everything under the sun. [his favorite YouTube videos, his running-this kid is like THE REAL Forest Gump, his family, his aspirations...everything....three hours.] After about ten minutes of listening, I found it hard to focus and follow what he was saying. I was then convicted of not actually listening...not actually loving Caleb....I was just pretending.
4.) Being away from someone gives you new appreciation for that someone and makes you realize how much you love them. I have never been away from home for a summer before, I have never missed Jake getting ready for the fair or hanging out with my babysitting kids. I have always been there. Yet this summer, I have realized how much family and my friends back home mean to me. I have missed them like crazy.
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| Naomi, Jake and I on his 11th Birthday. Man, I miss this kid. |
5.) It is important to show your appreciation for people while they are alive. God has led me to really show people how much they mean to me. It is crazy to think about how people impact your life, even the people who didn't have huge roles for very long. Too often, we wait until the person dies to really realize how much they have done for us....that just seems wrong to me.
6.) All of those years in youth group really were filled with relevant lessons. There were so many times when I thought Pastor Mearl was teaching information that I would never need or use, but this summer I have used so much of it and his lessons have stuck with me. There are certain things that I will never forget. My stance on issues surrounding relationships, drinking, tattoos, shady behavior, personal devotionals.....things that I never thought I would actually used, I have.
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| Pastor Mearl and Angie.....have taught me more than I have ever realized |
7.) Loving others requires you to know how they feel love. Love languages are a phrase that is frequently tossed around, however through different relationships, I have realized how true it is that we each feel love in different ways. In order to truly love someone, we need to love them in the way that they feel it, not in our own way. Naomi is a quality time person. I am a listening person/a show how well you know me person. Andrew is very much a quality time person, while I am more independent. Love requires sacrifice.
8.) Living requires humility. There have been so many times this summer when I have had to ask for help, whether it's a little thing on the computers at work, or in how to cook something at home. God has reminded me that there is a God and it is not me, I am NOT capable of everything without help. I have had to truly walk by faith and realize that I can't do it all on my own. I am so small compared to the grand scheme of things.
9.) Geocaching is harder than one would think. Naomi and I have found 13 geocaches this summer....a great activity to fill in some of our down-time. They are EVERYWHERE! It just seems like they should be so much easier to find than what we have come to find out. For example, there is one at the Ghost Tracks that we have looked for for at least 4 hours with no find. We have also learned to geocache in the light because it gets rather shady if you keep on going at night...
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| Abrielle came to visit and we went Geocaching. Fail at this phone booth. |
I know that there are plenty of other life lessons I have learned this summer, but these are the ones that really stick out. I can't wait to begin my Senior year but am totally NOT ready to move out of here, to have Naomi return to Colorado, to stop working in a great office and to end this great adventure.
much love & prayer-Danni
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