Last year's word was Trust. With only being five letters, one would think that this would be an easy character pillar to develop. False- at least for me being a control freak, trust is one of the hardest things one could ask me to do. The dictionary definition of trust is "the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence." You could ask any of my close friends, they will all tell you that it is even hard for me to trust them at times. I simply don't like putting control in someone else's hands. If I trust someone else, they have the opportunity to hurt me even more.
So through much prayer and study of trust, I can see that I have made so much progress in this area. Yes, I'm definitely not perfect but I am a work in progress when it comes to trust.
1.) Close to the beginning of the year, after not so much time studying trust, I was given the opportunity to trust a boy. Being 21, This is something most of my peers have done before-yet I had never allowed myself to trust in a relationship with a boy. Though neither of the men that I dated in 2012 have proven to be "The One" and even though they both would tell you that trust issues definitely came to play during both of these relationships. This is true: however, I have made so much progress. I opened up immensely to both of these Godly men. I allowed God to open up my heart to trust them with an aspect of my life and I will admit that it was a beautiful thing. I will always be grateful for the change that God did in me through these patient and compassionate men.
2.) In the beginning of second semester, I was again provided the amazing opportunity to be a Campus Ministry Coordinator. I had loved serving in this job for the past two years and was so excited to serve for a third year on Hardy First (a floor that I had to trust God to get). This year was immediately going to prove to hold some challenges. I would be serving as a CMC on a underclassmen-dominant floor while going through my Senior year AND Student Teaching. Though I'm still only done with one semester of serving, God has quickly shown me that I am beyond blessed to live in community with this year's group of girls at this time in my life. I have already learned so much because of each of these girls and have opened up to trust even more.
3.) At the end of my Junior year, God gave me the opportunity to live in Huntington over the summer with my best friend. This would mean that I would have to pay rent and not save as much money as I needed to. However, I trusted God to carry me through the summer. Because of a very generous Business Office at Huntington University, I made it through financially. The end of the summer would hold one of the biggest challenges of trust I have had to endure: my best friend moving back to Colorado. I had to trust that though their would now be 24 hours separating us, our friendship wouldn't falter. There have been some tough times, but I would say that we are stronger than ever before.
4.) Naomi moving back to Colorado after having her right there for everything this summer was tough. The space forced me to rely totally on God as I began the hardest year of my life. I've always struggled with trusting God with my life. I want control of my life. I want to set my own plans. The last semester has held so much growth in my relationship with God. I have learned so much about His enduring love and grace and what it means to live in His example. I am truly beginning to trust God's will in my life and not my own as I enter the last bit of my Senior year.
Now there have been other opportunities to learn about trust, but I don't want to write another one of those super long end-of-the-year posts. Instead, I wanted to be vulnerable and beg the reader to look into their own life as to where they could learn to trust. Trust in relationships. Trust in yourself. Trust in your family and friends. Beyond all else, Trust in God.
"Trust is the Lord, your God, with all of your heart. Lean not on your own understanding and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
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