Lessons Learned: Columbia City Style

I don't do "Woman Crush Wednesdays: #WCW" because, well I try to be a professional 23 year-old at times, but with the big move coming up, I have grown increasingly sentimental, especially surrounding the people I've grown close to in CC. Despite complaining about being alone in a town that I don't know anyone in, I really have grown to love several people here and am beyond thankful for their time, support, fun and lessons taught. So if I were to do "Woman Crush Wednesdays" these would be the women I would choose along with some of the top lessons/challenges learned during my time in Columbia City.

1.) Dana "My Name is the LONGEST Last Name Ever" Neuenschwander  

We are #1 Fans of ISMS Soccer.

(I feel intelligent just spelling it correctly). I feel as though our first random interaction illustrates what I am taking away the most from Dana: I was sitting at a basketball game with a few students when she noticed my HU lanyard and struck up conversation...ending with me volunteering for Campus Life (best life decision of Columbia City...seriously so thankful). I truly do not think this woman is afraid to strike up a conversation with anyone...the opposite of myself who frequently shys away from anyone I don't know for fear of making a fool out of myself. She doesn't let the potential awkwardness of these situations stop her and instead pushes through the awkwardness. (even by making it more awkward, initially) Dana doesn't only teach middle school students about Jesus-she illustrates one of His main teachings through these interactions: She goes to wherever the people are (even sitting through six hours of hog shows) to show them that they are cared about. Dana not only seeks them out, but listens; she is unhindered.She doesn't let fronts or stereotypes or cliques shy her away from certain students. I find myself congregating to the same type of students, not putting a whole lot of effort into getting to know other people. I am content with my "12 close disciples" so to speak while Dana realizes that Jesus not only had the 12, but so many more to which He ministered.   After working concessions with her this week, I commented on how she has got to be the only person I've ever seen not put on a "fake" or "professional" "public face. She is the same regardless of with who she is interacting. She isn't afraid to bust out laughing or to yell out cheers even if the rest of the stands are quiet. She doesn't act like she cares because it is her job-she really cares. I have the upmost respect and admiration for the kind of self-confidence being that person takes. 

Dana has continually challenged me to step out of my security blanket of shyness and I am oh so thankful for her patience and prodding. I am not nearly skilled at seeking out new people, but will take away her lessons and example to Missouri. Then, hopefully, it won't take me nine months to start to meet people this time! I am also thankful for her willingness to put up with my snarky-side and throw it right back at me; to commentate on the Bachelorette with me; to make me feel wanted; to laugh with me; to keep me company at every event and to allow me to simply let loose. 

2.) Hollie "Taught Me More Math in ONE Year than ALL My Math Teachers" Parker:  
She'll probably never read this because I'm not connected to her on social media so I'll be honest: This woman is probably the biggest surprise of the year because my initial reaction was to be terrified of her pep! She was our fearless team leader this year-always willing to spend a few extra minutes brainstorming with me about how to improve different educational situations.  Aside from a professional stand-point, I am taking away this woman's portrayal of fierce, but honest love. I shy away from discipline, confrontation and "demanding" respect, yet Hollie has taught me that those things are necessary...especially when working with students...but don't have to be harsh. I can't even explain what she does, but she has become known for "Loving students to change...believing in them so much that they have no option but to step up their game". Supporting students doesn't always mean sugar coating everything and being their friend (in fact, teacher and friend shouldn't be synonmous) : Sometimes they need the tough love, discipline and consequences and sometimes that means we, as the adults, have to be the "bad guys". That's okay, because they probably aren't going to hold that against you for long; will respect you more in the long run; and even if they don't, our identity isn't based on what a 13-year-old thinks of us. To be sure that she isn't this big, bad tough guy, I want to point out that Mrs. Parker has proved that there are ways to bring Jesus into a public classroom. She doesn't keep her faith a secret while being professional and respectful...again, I can't explain it, but it is beautiful. 

Hollie continually went out of her way to make me feel welcome this year-inviting me over to her family's for Easter when I couldn't go home and out for my birthday when all my friends were busy. At some point, she moved from the scary, peppy co-worker to a friend and I am so thankful for that transition. She didn't just stop when the school year ended, even while knowing I wasn't going to be working with her again. I am thankful for her constant hospitality (as well as her entire family's), support in the tough decisions, letting me cry on the hard days, cooking plenty of delicious food, patiently teaching me the math for each day's lessons before I had to explain it, always listening even when it is passed her bedtime and proving that friends don't have to be the same age. (even though she's NOT old)


3.) My Crazy Children: 

Pie in the Face Day

Girls Just Want to Have Fun Night

 I moved to Columbia City to be a professional, yet relateable educator....yet I am leaving having spent nearly the entire summer (mind you, it would have been different had I been returning to teach) with my former students. I love all 142 of my students and they will each always hold a place in my heart, but the handful (that will remain unnamed because they know who they are) that have taken more time to "hang" with me this summer have grown to closely resemble friends. When I began teaching, I often felt like I was back in my own middle school, just trying to be accepted and these girls have done just that. I am 23, they are 13 yet, sadly, you often wouldn't be able to tell that there are ten years separating us when we are together. It's crazy, but when I am with them, my anxiety levels are way lower...I feel like I truly can be my crazy, fun-loving self (that I'm often afraid to show around adults because I am the "baby") and I am beyond thankful for that. Maybe it has something to do with me being 10 years older and not having to impress them, but at the same time, they just love me for who I am. Some are athletes, some think Zac Efron is hott, some share different interests, but they have taught me that those labels and the stereotypes that often come with them aren't always correct and they rarely ever matter. I can simply and truly be me no matter who they are. These girls have seen me screw up, have seen me get uber flustered, have seen me with little sleep and little patience and even put up with my bad moods and frustration throughout the school year; but they haven't held that against me (at least, it doesn't show)-always extending grace for my mishaps...showing that those silly things don't have to become your identity.

Let's be honest, if it weren't for these yayhoos, I would have spent much more of the summer sitting on my couch, binge watching Netflix. They have been brave enough to break barriers in order to make friends with "their mean, old, writing teacher", have taught me that

7 Swag Ladies

Instagram has direct messaging, that I am horrible at White Tiles in comparison to them, that you should duct tape your boots to your body when pig wrestling, that there is a pretzel place in Walmart, that Children of the Corn is terrifying in the first two seconds, that brownies only need 1/3 cup oil, how to get so many new places in C.C. that I would have needed a GPS for before, that you should remember to pray for your husband,and most importantly that it is okay to be weird. These girls have truly become like the little sisters that I had grown up begging for and I tear up just thinking about leaving them....but the thing about big sisters is that they are always there no matter how far away. I am also extremely thankful for their parents who have often welcomed me and entrusted me with their amazing children. I love you girls.

There have definitely been other people that I have grown close to over this last year of transition that have taught me and challenged me in ways that I wasn't expecting. I just wanted to list the first few that have been popping up in journaling lately. This post proves that even  if you write off a situation, God has his ways of surprising you, teaching you, shaping you and blessing you with beauty. 

Wonder?

"Everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world" -Wonder by RJ Palacio 

Wonder chronicles the fictional life of several characters within their relationships to Auggie, a boy who was born with "a lottery of a face"-a rare combination of birth defects making his face the focus of his first days of middle school. Throughout the novel, we see Auggie evolve from a shy boy who kept his head lowered and hated being the focus of jokes and pointing to a young man growing in confidence and an identity outside of his defects. 

Auggie is a young boy that often caught the amazement of on-lookers because of his face, though nothing else about him (other than his over-the-top obsession with Star Wars) separated him from the average fifth grade boy. In the end of the book (SPOILER ALERT...though not imperative to the novel)  Auggie is presented with an award for exemplar courage throughout the school year-yet he doesn't completely understand saying that he simply received this award for being himself-there was nothing courageous he actually underwent other than facing all of the normal challenges with an unusual set of features. 

It is a beautiful, quick read that I would encourage anyone to pick up. However, I don't want to talk about the details of the plot, rather where I think the title, itself, may come from seeing how WONDER is never actually mentioned in the entire novel.  

Palacio writes Auggie's story through several characters' interactions with Auggie: his sister, her boyfriend, his best friend, his best girl friend, etc. Though subtly, we are all shown that each of these characters is facing their own obstacle: poverty, identity, learning disability, being known, etc.  Yet, we are never slapped in the face with the fate that they are forced to overcome-none of them have chosen their battle....Via didn't choose to have a brother with defects, John Will didn't choose to be poor, Justin didn't choose to have a learning disability. Yet each of these characters survives their fate all the while putting Auggie's fate as the most undesirable and thus, Auggie the most courageous. 

We are no different than those fictional characters: We have each been dealt at least one bad card in our hand that we didn't choose. We can try to avoid the consequences, but eventually we have to face them. We were never shown Auggie complaining about his parents having the one-in-a-million genetic make-up that made him the way he is, we didn't see him refusing to wake up in the morning until someone could give him a new face. (besides, he had already undergone many plastic surgeries) He never said that his challenges were tougher than any of the other characters': Auggie simply lived the life that he had to with the best possible attitude. 

We, as a society, as broken people, are often creating hierarchies of pain and suffering. If our lives don't intersect with the top of the scale, we don't deserve to complain, or we don't deserve to be recognized for making it through another day. I can't help but think of a quote that has stuck with me since English 11 when watching an interview with Elie Wiesel, author of Night and a holocaust survivor. When asked if there are holocaust-level tragedies still present in the world, Ellie gives the follow response:

I don't like to compare one atrocity to another. That would be demeaning to both... It's an insult. Every tragedy is unique, just as every human is unique. When a person loses someone dear to her, who am I to say that my tragedy was greater? I have no right. For that person, her tragedy is the greatest in the world—and she is right in thinking so.

Those lines have often clicked into memory in conversation about pain, about the unfair cards that we are dealt, the unfair cards that we, too often, are fearful to make a deal of.  I think the wonder of it all is that we wake-up each day and face whatever challenges are thrown our way. Some people rely on faith, others fortune or karma or whatever else gets them through...but each of us continues onto the next day. Auggie received recognition for being courageous simply for living his life and his response was how good the standing ovation felt-that each and every one of us deserves to feel that level of accomplishment at least once in our lives. We deserve to have people recognize how hard it was to wake up every morning, to go to work under appreciated, to live in a family that views you as invisible, to fight a deadly disease, to battle bullies, to live through abuse, to refuse to count the calories just once...to do whatever it is that you do each and every day without a choice...simply because that is what you have to do. You deserve to not have to measure that pain, or put yourself at the bottom of the scale because "someone else has it worse off". 

I'm not saying we need to sit around throwing giant pity-parties for everyone...in fact, I'm saying the exact opposite. It is a wonder for each of us to make it through each day, but it is more wonderful to recognize that every other person that we interact with throughout our days also deserves that standing ovation and to do as much as we can to help give it to them. The beauty of Auggie's year and growth was not that he simply made it through the fifth grade, but that others began to realize that he was more than the face that he was given. They began to look at him not with an immense amount of wonder, but with a sense of normality. 

So I guess this left me with two semi-conflicting messages:

1.) We each deserve a standing ovation for making it through another day of the hand we were dealt because we were each given a couple of bad cards.

2.) Beauty is found when we stop focusing on those bad cards and, instead, realize that we are normal...because everyone else is holding a few of those cards too..and use that knowledge to reach out to someone else because if we combine all of the "bad cards," someone is going to end up with a pretty good hand.

3.) We, as humans, deeply desire to be noticed...to be known...but to be noticed for more than our "bad cards". 

So there are my, as always, jumbled thoughts. I have to admit that I like the way my mind thinks, but there is often a disconnect between my thoughts and my words, hope you understood something out of this mess.

You made it through another day. Congratulations, because I know it wasn't easy. 

<3 D