Beauty to Peace

As I sit here, totally buried in 16.2 inches of snow and windchills of -50, watching 7th Heaven re-runs and refusing to do anything dealing with my job, I can't help but think over the past year of my life. Each year, I pick a focus word instead of putting together an impossible set of resolutions. 2013 was the year of Beauty, in which Freedom was added towards the end.

Just after the New Year, I hopped on a plane for the first time in my life to spend a couple of weeks with my best friend. The time was much needed and started my reflection on the beauty around me. Deep conversations always put me in a thoughtful mood, and time with Naomi reminded me of the beauty of friendship, even in distance and how God brings people together to share life-even the most unpredicted sets of people. 

I began Student Teaching at Norwell Middle School and got to know a group of kids that will forever be a part of who I am. (their constant Instagram spam will never let me forget them.) I was terrified to embark on Student Teaching while living in Hardy Hall, getting little sleep and having a ton of school commitments, but I survived and it quickly became my favorite year yet. I was daily reminded of the beauty of God's creations on my solo drives to and from the school and in the students that I worked with as well as my fellow teacher's passion for bring Christ into their occupation.

I feel like it wouldn't be an accurate account of my year if I didn't include my most memorable and exciting night of my college career. It may or may not have included much of an anonymous building on an anonymous campus creating a hallway slip-in-slide, massive amounts of laundry soap and escaping campus security on multiple counts. It will always live in my memory-reminding me of the beauty of friendship and letting go in the moment. 
 
I graduated Huntington University sending me into an overload of change: moving from the place that I had called home for 4 years and the relationships that had held me strong during even the most stressful moments. I protested putting away all of my belongings in my room at home for nearly a month because I didn't want that to be reality. Change does bring beauty if we seek God in the midst of it. 

I began applying for summer jobs long before the school year was even over and yet remained unemployed for far to long, causing me to worry about finances leading into some major life changes. During that time, my trusty Silver Stallion decided to die on my way to Ohio, causing me to be unemployed and without transportation. God provided and a high school friend offered me a job at Ideal Beach Campgrounds and my uncle happened to have a Mazda 6 on his lot for my price. There is an immense amount of beauty in the wait and in getting to work with a crazy group of people ranging from 7 years younger to 20 years older.

The thing I've learned most about beauty is that it isn't going to always slap you in the face with it's presence. Beauty is something to be sought, in each moment and in each living being.  I, too often, write off individuals or situations because they are not my picture of ideal- 2013 repeatedly kicked me off of my high horse, showing me beauty in everything if I only took the time to look for it. 

All of that being said, 2014 is sure to be a year of even more challenge as I tackle the idea of peace and purpose and the freedom that comes with those two ideas. I am currently in a job that I knew I wasn't going to want to have forever, but one that is proving to be more of a challenge than originally thought: I have a couple of months to debate my purpose and attempt to find a peace in this "bridge job" (one that I am simply doing until I can figure out what comes next). A friend recently reminded me that we are too often looking for the next thing and promising ourselves peace in it-when God is asking us to simply be where we are now and find Him there. I currently live in a small town where I know a total of one other person and spend most nights alone watching a strict routine of trashy television with my guinea pigs. I struggle with being alone and being unfulfilled with my current occupation and surroundings and simply finding peace with myself and the God that I frequently neglect leaving me in a frequent state of frenzied anxiety.

Have I mastered the idea of "Free Beauty"? Of course not, I am only hoping that my journey to peace and purpose will teach me more about God's beauty and the beauty that He daily floods the world with.