I've worked with adolescents for about eight years now; four of those years taking place at a small, Christian, liberal arts university in a small Midwestern town. This university, in particular, prided itself on relationships (not the romantic ones-though many of its attendees graduated with a ring by spring and their MRS degree.). I mean, true and connected relationships-as you walked down the side walk, it wouldn't be uncommon to see a couple of friends or a student and professor sitting off to the side talking. My favorite part about Huntington was that most of these interactions began or ended (or both) with prayer. We had professors asking us what was going on in our personal lives and how they could pray for us. It also wasn't uncommon, even in non-ministry classes, to have a professor or fellow student begin the class in prayer. When one of the business professor's wife was dying or when our financial aide director died-the entire campus received emails of intercession on their behalf. When one of the student's fathers went missing overseas, every one began interceding for him.
I used to meet with a friend and mentor, who is also a youth leader, once every couple of weeks. Though we always had positive, honest and deep conversation, my favorite time was always towards the end because she would pull out her journal and ask what she could be praying about. Many friends would ask this question before prayer, but Hillary took it seriously enough to make the personal connection to ask what I needed intercession for and to not only ask, but to write it down so she could look it up later.
As a youth leader, friend, sister and mere Christian human being, I prayed on behalf of my kids, family and friends on a daily basis, though I have always found it to be true that intercession is made more meaningful when the person actually knows about it. Unfortunately, we live in a Christian world where "I'll pray for you" has become a new cliche catchphrase that is very rarely actually followed through with. That being said, when someone utters it after pouring out our hearts to them, we doubt the sincerity.
When I moved to college, it became increasingly harder to stay connected with my youth girls at home (something Hill wrote in her journal on my behalf multiple times). I prayed for them daily, and often had an idea as to what they needed prayer for. However, if you asked them today, many of them would tell you that their was a long period of time that they felt overlooked and abandoned. They knew I was interceding for them, but they were desperately missing that connection.To be honest, those girls pulled away from me during this adjustment period of pure intercession because they felt like I wasn't there for them any longer, like I had moved on and didn't care about them. Though this was false, there was no known action to prove otherwise.
Intercession without connection is like thought without action. I'm not saying that every action has to be publicized or at least brought to the notice of the recipient, but hasn't your day ever been made by an anonymous note left on your windshield or a package of candy/flowers left at your doorstep or someone in front of you paying for your meal/coffee at the drive-thru. These actions each brighten our day and cause us to feel loved and cared for even when left anonymous. We could sit at our house and pray that the person feel the love of God today or that they get over their illness, but those prayers coupled with a card or a package of cough drops is going to go a bit further to lift the person's spirits.
Earlier tonight, someone that hadn't sought out real conversation with me reminded me that she cared for me and was praying for me after an argument about pure intercession lacking connection, leading to a lost trust and relationship. When said person offered this prayer, I instantly felt what my girls must have felt four years ago-abandonment trying to be mended with mere words, yet without action. Someone was saying that they still cared without any evidence backing their words. Empty.
Now, put this into a different profession: if a doctor merely said that he was talking about what it would take to heal you of your terminal disease, would you continue to want to put trust in that doctor to heal you? If a teacher merely talked to the principal about what she would teach without ever stepping foot near the students, would you trust that teacher with your child's education? If a waitress told her manager about your complaint without the manager coming to your out of the back, would you feel heard? The answer to each of these questions is probably a no unless you are a pretty laid back, forgiving individual. Though I have talked a lot of intercession coupled with connection being the job of a youth leader, it is really the job each and every one of us commits to when we ask Jesus to be our Lord.
Take a minute to see how intercession worked in the days when we weren't living a go go go lifestyle with electronic and post-it noted to-do lists:
James 5:14-20 gives us the exact process that we should follow when someone needs prayer showing the action such has calling the sick and anointing with oil and then persistent and fervent prayer on their behalf:
" Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith with save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months, it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit..."
Ephesians 1:15-19 shows us how to make intercession more of a connection even though we may be separated by distance. The author not only says that they are continually praying for these people, but gives the specifics of the prayer recited:
" For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might."
I could go on forever listing verses that give examples as to how we should pray, but I think these two illustrate two aspects that we are frequently leaving out. We need to seek those that we are praying for out. We are called to be more like Hillary and take dutiful note of what our friends could use prayer for-intentionality. I want to make it clear that we don't necessarily have to tell the others the exact prayers or even just tell them of the prayer each and every time-however it always adds sincerity when we inform each other of the prayers that are being given on our behalf.
I ask you to look inside your relationships: are you replacing connection with intercession or are you coupling them together for the most sincere impact?
Fiercely,
Danni
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