Healing means Pain

One of those annoying Barney Children Songs comes to mind thinking about healing. The one that goes a bit like this, "can't go over it, can't go around it, can't go under it...we gotta go through it." When little kids sing the words, they are typically referring to some big adventure and having to go through the swamp or somewhere a bit scary. However, it has many applications to the healing process.

I went to the doctor yesterday (and the day before) for my knee, I have had issues with it for a few years now, but a recent football injury has made it worse. I kept avoiding going to the doctor, but the pain was just getting worse, so I finally caved and went. I had had all the possibilities of what the doctor could possibly tell me running through my head, infecting my positive attitude during the days leading up to yesterday. Yet, after x-rays and contorting my knee in all sorts of ways, the doctor merely concluded that I have extremely tight hamstring muscles that are messing with my patella and joints inside my knee. He said with some pain medicine and physical therapy, the pain should go away. 

I have to admit, that is not what I wanted to hear. I want the pain to go away right now...that was the whole point of going to the doctor-TO MAKE IT BETTER. I know surgery would hurt as well as any other possibility....but why does the healing of my knee have to hurt when it already hurts?! 

This is where that song comes into play. When talking about healing, we can't just skip across to the "all-better" side of things. We can not go around the pain, we can not go over the pain, we can not go around the pain....we simply have to truck through it. Sometimes the pain is the size of a lake, others the Grand Canyon and others the size of all the oceans put together....but no matter how big the pain, the "all-better" side is still there. 

All of this sounds pretty pessimistic for a girl whom is trying to find the joy in all circumstances right? Ya, I know...but here is where the Son shines. When Christians ask for healing, whether it be physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual healing; there is an upside. We are not promised that we get to go around or above or under the pain, but we are promised a partner through the pain. "Even though I walk, through the valley of the shadow of death, I won't look back..I know You are there." Jesus himself will be walking with us through the pain. 


Its like the man at the water, Jesus healed him and allowed him to walk again, but have you ever thought about the hardships that the man had yet to endure. He had to stand, a task that probably didn't feel the greatest after years of not being able to move. He had to go into a society in which he had been practically shunned and make a way for himself. Healing calls for action...this action often brings pain. 


I have a few friends who have been talking to me about the kind of healing that God is doing in them right now. Many of them have been in bad relationships in the past few years and have prayed and prayed for healing from the pain that these brought. They have all realized that healing often hurts more than the actual feelings themselves...healing does not mean an escape, it means a future of prosperity.

In the process of healing, God often brings about old and painful emotions that only get more painful with time, He gives us difficult tasks like forgiveness or physical therapy. The process is a painful one that we can not avoid. Yet the positive comes in the fact that we are not alone. He is right there with us, holding our hand and wiping our tears all the way through...He is cheering us on when it gets tough and even there to pick us up and cradle us through when we just can't move any further. 


People turn to all sorts of things for healing. Honestly, many of these things come with an instant "all-better" button, but that button wares off with time. When we turn to the things of this world for healing, sure it may feel a lot better in an instant, but soon that will ware off and the pain is going to be worse. However, if we turn to God and stick out the pain....the other side will be ever so rewarding. 


That's just something I have been thinking about....
so bring on the physical therapy...
bring on the pain...
because I know the promise of what comes later.


<3

I am Fortunate.

 So for awhile now, I have seemed to have lost my joy...I have been bogged down fearing different trivial things and being stressed out. I honestly had lost hope at being as joyful as I once was. Then I picked up "Life Without Limits" by Nick Vujicic and I was overwhelmed with optimism, hope and joy reading his words today.

Nick was unexpectedly born without any limbs (arms or legs), however he does have one small foot-like thing that he calls his drumstick. His condition is very rare, leaving him and his parents no one to turn to whom had experience. 

What strikes me most reading this book is that he is constantly saying how he is so much better off than so many people in this world. Nick has traveled all over the world speaking, to children in orphanages, survivors of natural disasters, abuse victims; people who, yes have suffered so much, but can do "normal" things with ease...unlike him. Many people would say that they are more equipped to handle their adversities. Yet Nick constantly says that he is better off. He has never had to starve know what it is like to live under strict oppression like many have. 

Nick can play soccer, he loves to swim, he can do so many everyday tasks that we would think he is incapable of like answering the phone, brushing his hair and teeth, drinking, turning on and off lights, typing on a keyboard really fast, driving a wheelchair and so much more. He even tried prosthesis as a child and concluded that he could do most things better with his teeth, chin and little drumstick. 

He would be the first to tell you that he has had down times in his life, trying to drown himself at the age of ten being the lowest. He has had times in which he hasn't felt that there was purpose in his life because of everything he couldn't do. Yet Nick has clung to God's hope and joy. He strongly believes that God's arm is never to short to reach you, that there is power in perseverance, that we must live our lives in such a way that negative emotions do not hold us...he believes that everyone has a purpose, no matter what their situation. Sometimes it is hard to hang on to hope, but we should always hang on to God's goodness, thus knowing that there will be more hope someday. 

Reading about the hope and joy that Nick continues to have each day even though he can not hug someone, even though he has no idea if there will ever be a girl willing to marry a man whom won't be able to hold their children or dance with her at their wedding. Nick has this undying trust in God that it is going to be okay...if a man with no limbs can have that much joy, why can't I?

I have concluded that if a man with no limbs wouldn't be complaining about it...than I probably shouldn't. I should be thanking God for the pain in my knee right now...because guess what, I have a knee to have pain in. I live in a country with wonderful medical staff that I can go to in order to make it better.  I shouldn't be complaining about having to soon go back to school and write lots of papers because I have ten fingers to type out my essays instead of two "toe-like" things. I shouldn't complain about long drives, because I can drive. There are so many more people worse off than me. No matter what I have gone through in my life and everything that I am sure I have yet to overcome...there are so many more out there that are worse of. 

I am fortunate.
I am overly blessed.
My struggles don't even compare to others.
My pain would be nothing to so many people.

I will leave you with a link to one of Nick Vujicic's videos on youtube....I encourage you to go and atleast watch this one....but when you feel like you are having a bad day, just youtube this man. Listen to his words, watch him lower himself to his face and then push himself back up. When you feel like it is impossible to rise from your current situation, remember Nick...remember that it is possible to swim with no limbs, it is possible to rise when it seems like you have nothing to help you. 

A Day in the Life of Nick Vujicic

Have NO fear....yea right?

So this time of year, there is so much to fear. When thinking about the little baby Savior, my mind often wanders to those who may never know HIM, my loved ones who refuse to awknowledge HIM. That scares me. I love the beautiful and pure snow, but it scares me to be out on the roads. I am giving a sermon on Sunday and I have to admit, I am not scared of speaking in front of people, I am afraid of not listening to HIM. The new year is coming, a chance to begin again, yet we are not certain that we are going to see another year. So much could happen. So many uncertainties. So much to fear for a person like me who loves to have control.

I have always been fascinated with the story of Mary. There she was, a young teenageer with no husband, she probably had all sorts of plans for who she wanted to become, she was in no way ready or expecting to be expecting. Yet an angel appears and tells her that she is not only pregnant, but with the Son of God. I am sure after the utter shock wore off that her mind began racing to all the uncertainities; what was going to happen to her and Joseph, where they were going to live, how she was going to raise the Savior of the world, how she was going to afford to have a child... I am sure she began freaking out.

There were probably times when she prayed to God to pick a different person, someone more "equiped" to bring His Son into the world. There is no doubt that she doubted her capabilities, forgetting that with God, ALL things are possible. Sometimes, it is difficult for me to remember that Mary probably had these freak out moments and wasn't perfectly peaceful though she was bringing Perfect Peace into the world.

My pastor said something on Sunday that has kept me thinking...."Where fear is, peace can not be." I desperately want peace, I want the peace that I always see Mary as having. In order to get that peace, I have to pray that God take all the fear out of my life. I have to hand HIM control of everything. I need to seek HIS truth, to trust in HIS promise, to obey HIS commands and to LOVE....have to surrender my fear to Him. That doesn't mean I am going to be completely unworried about anything...I will just go running into HIS arms, letting HIM wipe my tears.

I will become the little child who, after being put to bed, screams from their bed to their daddy to come in quick. They are too scared to move from their bed...blankets pulled up over their head. They are sure there is something under their bed, out their window or in the closet....and they are not about ready to face it. Daddy comes in, turns on the light so that everything goes back to normal. After the child is still wimpering, He opens the closet and pulls up the bed skirt, slides back the curtain just to prove that there is nothing. He would never let something harm the child. He is their protection. Most little kids won't go on to question that...daddy can safely walk out the door, leaving it cracked for a little light to shine in and the child will go safely to sleep.

My heavenly Daddy will never let the monsters get me, I just have to trust HIM. I need to be at peace with HIS protection, letting HIM wipe my fear away.

Praying a Peaceful CHRISTmas Season to all of my readers,
<3 D

Watch Your Motives

Something that I have been thinking about a lot lately is why I do the things I do, or why other people do the things that they do. What are our motives? As Christians, we are commanded to do things not for our glory, but rather for the glory of our AMAZING GOD: We are nothing without HIM and thus should be giving our everything to HIM.Yet, so many times we are doing things to make ourselves look good. We are being prideful, and quite frankly, arrogant. So many times the leaders of our society, even the leaders of Christian societies are doing being leaders for selfish purposes. 

A friend and I were talking the other day and she said something to the extent of in order to be a good leader, you must first humble yourself by being a follower; no effective leader has never been a follower first. I feel like so many times we want to be leaders in order to take charge of things, to change things, to make ourselves look good or to make things less frustrating when in all reality, a person should first approach the leader about the suggestions/frustrations before breaking off and making their own society. 

A good leader does not preach sermons in order for people to think that he is this supreme spiritual being, but for people to not even know he is the one speaking because they are thinking so much about God.  An effective leader does not preach from a high podium, rather they will take the lowest seat of them all. An effective leader will neglect their desires and goals for the sake of their congregation. An effective leader is real with their followers, not someone who just tries to come across as "holy" in front of others. If someone is a good leader, nothing just change between the way that they are in a huge group of people to the way they are when they are alone in a room. 

I guess, I am just asking you through this short list of my thoughts to examine why you are in the positions that you are in. Are you in them because you want to be? Are you there because others want you to be? Who are you glorifying by being in this position? Are you being real? 

I pray that the walls of pride and deceit be demolished. I pray that we can step it up and do things simply in order for God to be glorified.

One of my favorite things....SNOW!

On Lake Snowtip with last year's first big snow

It really snowed for the first time this year yesterday, I mean the kind of snow that actually sticks to the ground, not just the kind that blows through the air and melts before it ever reaches it's destination. I have to admit, I am a sucker for snow....for me it is a way to make any bad day so much better....it is almost really like a spiritual experience actually. 

The snow reminds me to be a kid again. There is just something about it that makes me want to go sledding, build a snowman, make snow ice cream or hook a goat onto the sled to pull my brother and I around. Snow brings back so many good memories for me growing up. I remember one year, when my brother was really little, my dad and I build a HUGE snowman in our backyard. The bottom ball was as big as I was...not saying much because I was around twelve, but it was still pretty big. It is amazing to me how snowflakes, which are so much can form something so big. Think about it, some snowflakes we can't even see and yet we can put them together and make something amazing. 

The fact that there are no two snowflakes that are the same also baffles me. Think about how many snowflakes must fall in just a few short seconds on a blustery day. Millions or more, I am sure. Then think about the number of snowflakes that are outside on the ground right now...woah....those numbers totally blow my mind. I can't help myself but let my mind wander to God. The very God that carves each unique snowflake out of ice, the God who makes sure that each one of them are different, the God who knows exactly how many snowflakes are outside my window right now....created me and it watching over me. If HE spends so much time on snowflakes that melt within a few days, how much time does HE spend on me? It just baffles me. 

Probably my favorite part of snow is it's purity. I love how the trees are all bare and dying, the animals are practically nonexistent and the ground is all cold and dead, and yet the snow falls erasing all the dull, dead brown and making it pure again. It reminds me of my life. I am the dead tree, the rotten Earth and yet God makes me pure. Then eventually the snow melts and it becomes gross again and God yet again covers the impurities with a white blanket.  Yet we have to be cautious because when the purity is compacted, it get dangerous. When we get too full of our new found purity in Christ, we also become dangerous. We can become ice clods thrown in someone's direction. We can become the slippery stuff covering the roads and the side walks making it impossible to get where you actually need/want to go. 

Well, I am going to go get ready to go outside and enjoy the snow before it melts. That is one last thing, it is a reminder of how we are here today and could be gone tomorrow. Be grateful for the pure snow, let it take you back to memories of childhood, let it be a reminder of how much God loves you, let it show your purity. Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow ****

<3 D

It's NOT YOUR show!

Lately, I have been bothered by the show that seems to be going on day after day on my Christian campus: this is a show that I believe, is not only showing at Huntington, but a wide-spread plague taking over many Christian communities and hearts. Christians seem to be making their religion a show, starring the wrong character. You see, if Christian life were a movie, one should be able to watch the entire thing and not even really know the main character's name. They should get to the end of the movie and see every name popping up in the credits being one person: God. However, looking around, too many people, myself included at times, are trying to earn their spot in the closing credits. 

I know I often fight for the glory in the things I do. I am often more so concerned with how a certain task or action is making me look instead of being worried about if God is being reflected. I try to do community service because it looks good, not because I am called to love God's people and to be His hands and feet. I read my Bible because it is what I am supposed to do, not because I want to get closer to God. I want to lessen my complaining, and ranting and certain phrases so that I look to be a better Christian not simply because God doesn't want me to be that way. I have the direction that I want to go in life and expect God to just keep rewriting His plans around what I want to do...I want to have the final say in who the main character of my movie really is. I want the glory of appearing in the opening and ending credits. I want to cast who I want in my life; not to love those who persecute me. I just want to write my own script, not follow the one that has been set out for me. 

Other than trying to earn a place in their own movie, it seems like too many Christians are concerned with becoming the top earning actress, the most loved by the world, the award winning actor....they are trying to top their teammates: always trying to one-up the next person in line. Christianity is not a competition, Christianity is a partnership, not only between God and HIS followers, but each of HIS followers. 
 
This week alone I have heard people competing over who has the better Bible, who had the better praise and worship experience, who is the "most Godliest", and so many more. First of all, it doesn't matter what Bible someone uses; each person should get the Bible that they understand. Having a closer translation Bible does absolutely no good when one does not read it or understand it. There is no such thing as being a better worshiper either....God connects with each of us in a different way, some people really feel Him during worship and others experience Him in the simple sounds of nature. It does not say anywhere in the Bible that people have to go to church every Sunday; God would rather have the people who want to be at church be there than have everyone feel like they have an obligation to be at church. Church is important, but nobody is going to Hell for skipping one Sunday. Christianity is not supposed to be a competition of who can get the most awards or who can come across as the better Christian....it is a goal of winning hearts; which will happen more through truth.

Those are just my accumulated thoughts for the week. I am really trying to work on each of these things in my own life...I am giving up the credits to my movie and giving up the dream of being the best. Christians are simply called to be the people looking in the mirror...not who is being reflected in the mirror.

<3 D

The Friendship Bracelet

 Today I have been really missing my youth group and my girls back home. In one of my classes, I glanced down at the woven bracelet that one of my girls made for me before I left for school this year. It has five different colors, one color for each of the girls whom I am really close to. She made it so I could look down at my wrist and know that five girls were thinking about me, five girls loved me and missed me greatly. When Meg first tied it to my wrist, the colors were vibrant, the braid was tight, the ends were crisp, nothing could possibly break this bracelet unless it were cut by scissors. Each of these characteristics were symbolic of the friendship I had with each of these amazing girls. We had survived one year of me being in college and them being in high school and came out stronger than we had been before: nothing could break us. Together, God gave us the strength to break through any obstacle, we were each shinning bright with HIS love and was reading to conquer our next years of school.

Today I looked down at this bracelet and it had morphed. The colors are now faded from being always present on my hand. One of the braids has completely unfrazzled. Instead of being straight, the sides are curved up and under in different spots. The material is not nearly as tight anymore, instead it is easily stretched.This really brought me down.

Then I got to thinking...these girls are still an important part in my life; but both sides of this bracelet are growing. They are in high school now, they are finding out who they are, they are making their own friends and growing. Yet they know that I am still going to be there, not just a bracelet around their wrist, I am marked in their lives.

They aren't the only ones growing. This year in itself, I have made some new impacting friendships. Some of the old ones, that I was sure were going to last forever have faded and have left some new really challenging and exciting ones in their place. As I sit here, putting messages on my girls' walls on facebook, I am getting ready to go to dinner with a new friend that I never would have met had I allowed this bracelet to be my life. I am realizing that change is essential to growth. Growth does not mean leaving everyone behind, but being able to embrace more. Growth means reminiscing about the old and tattered friendship bracelet while I tie a new one next to it.

<3 D