Body Talk...Let's get Serious.

I'm about to get serious...so pay attention. 

100% of Human Beings have bodies 

Roughly 50% of Human beings are Female

An estimated 90% of Females are trained to shame their body

[all facts are completely my perception...everything could be false]

I have led teenagers for about 8 years now, I was a teenager for several years and just love teenagers....those are my credentials for being able to write this blog. In all my years of working specifically with teenage girls, I have realized that the majority of women are made to feel shame about their bodies in some way, shape or form. Listed below are categories that anger me and that often get over-looked that I have noticed and the things not to do.

1.)       Girls who are (too) skinny. People assume too quickly that just because someone is of a thinner figure, the have an eating disorder. FALSE. Seriously, I have a pretty thin figure and it angers me when people make comments about how I need to eat more because I am just to skinny, or after hugging me, say that there is nothing to me. This is just as insulting as calling someone obese. My two best friends growing up are probably the skinniest people I have ever met....and they both can eat more than a grown man....and do. [Kelsey and I used to have to get 2 bags of pizza rolls just so she could have one entire bag to herself. Kasey has now had 2 beautiful little girls and is still as little as ever.] Point being: Skinny doesn't always mean not healthy.

                 The majority of skinny people that I have known have been perfectly healthy, yet we are made to feel shame towards our bodies because we look unhealthy. I have often heard the phrase grossly thin...how much more insulting can you get than calling someone gross!? That is a phrase we use for the slime that comes out of your nose, not beautiful women. I have known many of these body-typed girls who will actually make themselves sick eating so much in front of people just to prove that they are healthy. Athletic girls will stop working out in order to put on more body fat to appear "healthy", they will avoid going out with a group of people for fear of being scorned for it not taking as much to make them full as the other people at the table. A skinny girl saying that they are full most times means they are full....not that they are still hungry and just not going to eat.

2.)             Girls who are physically attractive. I seriously have some of the most attractive friends one could picture. Seriously, they are all so stunning. They have bodies, hair and eyes that people would kill for, yet they have been taught to shame their bodies because they are a stumbling block. People automatically tend to assume that because these girls are attractive, that they are up for all sorts of pleasurable behaviors. Physically attractive girls have morals too. Girls tend to dislike others with this body-type because they are jealous because the guys aren't fawning over them....while the girls with this body-type are often wishing it away to not have to deal with their problems.

                    Now, I am a huge advocate of modesty [modesty is hottesty] but I am also a fan of wearing clothes that suit your body. However, many of these gorgeous girls are wearing over-sized clothes because they have been told that they cause the guys to stumble if they wear the same clothes everyone else is wearing. These girls are spending hours getting ready to play down their looks. The are going through numerous outfits to try to find one that it's fitted [normally, not even too tight]. Yes, women of faith are accountable for their clothing, but I firmly believe that guys need to do their fair share as well.

                      As I am writing this, Naomi just convicted me of my own stereotyping. I always stalk the girls that are going to be in the coming year because I want to know. Yet, every year I see all of the pretty faces and instantly fear each of the girls. I associate gorgeous girls with being super preppy and thereby not getting along with me at all. FALSE.

3.)            Women who aren't the "perfect body-type" have more than brains. I hate the fact that skinny people are known more by their looks and heavier people are known for their brains/morals. Skinny people have brains/morals and heavy people have attractiveness. Seriously, some of my heavier friends have the most attractive physical characteristics that I have seen...the brightest eyes, the silkiest hair...yet people don't take time to notice because they don't have the ideal body. 

                  These women are taught to shame their body because they aren't the most physically fit....when more times than thought, it's because of genetics. I am constantly seeing beautiful women hiding behind drab colors and baggy clothes because the world has made it clear that they don't want to see their bodies. Whereas the second category has learned to stay away from them because they are stumbling blocks, this category has learned that men aren't even looking in their direction. Shame.


4.)            Introverted women deserve compliments too.  Extroverted people receive compliments all the time, not because they are the most attractive people but because they tend to receive compliments better....mainly because they don't receive compliments as often so they freeze. Think about it, when was the last time that you openly complimented someone that was quieter and more closed-off? I have a friend who has one of the most stunning bone structures that I have ever seen, yet if you were to ask her when the last time was that someone told her anything like that...she would have no idea. 
               If you think about it, extroverted people tend to be seen as more confident...but what better way to  build confidence than compliment people. I know, personally, I tend to think twice about giving a compliment. I question if I know the person well enough [what kind of thought is that?!], I question how they are going to respond, I rehearse the compliment in my head several times before I ever give it. So much thought....and usually it ends up in talking myself out of ever saying what I thought [or all of that thinking took too long]. Introverted people are just as stunning as any extrovert.

To wrap-up [I am terribly sorry for the length of this rampage], I am going to challenge anyone who reads this to a few things.

             

1.) Compliment EVERY woman you come in contact with an attractive physical characteristic.       

2.) Never make assumptions about a woman's morality based on their looks.

 3.) Stay away from the comments, and alike ones, that I have talked about in this blog

 4.) If you are a woman and reading this, go stand in front of the mirror and smile....be confident in your beauty because if you're not, nobody else is going to be. 

Find Beauty.

Much Love & Prayer,

Danni

Summer 2012 Top 10.

This summer has been a whirlwind of new adventures and I am definitely NOT ready to let it end. The past week, I have been doing a lot of thinking about this summer as a whole. There have been so many new experiences and new lessons that I have learned. This is my first time living away from home [have I mentioned that I live with my best friend....I mean this is like straight off of a TV sitcom!], my first time paying rent [and living on a pay check-a-month] and my first time making a long-distance relationship work [it is so worth it]. Anywho, I've learned a ton and thought that I would make a short list of some of the Life Lessons of Summer 2012....in no particular order.

1.) Kool-Aid can dye your hair....toothpaste can help take the color off of your hands: Naomi and I decided that since neither of us can really have permanently colored hair because of work/school, we would color our hair with Kool-Aid. [thank you Pinterest]. It was a blast and I smelled like grapes for a week!    

Naomi and I after dying my hair. Notice the color of her hands....

 2.) There are too many great restaurants out there to keep going to the same places over and over. Thanks to Naomi, I have now eaten at Don Rafael's-AMAZING Mexican food, Johnny's-an adorable family diner in Huntington, Panda Express, Baskin Robins and Chick-Fil-A for the first time. I have loved each and every one of these places and definitely think twice about eating at a typical fast-food place now. We have also done our fair share of cooking-I am attempting to learn anyway. :)

3.) Every person deserves to be listened to. A few weeks ago, we went to hear one of my girls speak on her recent trip to Kenya. Afterwards, I was stopped by this boy who had some form of mental disability (I think autism). He was super sweet but kept talking for nearly three hours about everything under the sun. [his favorite YouTube videos, his running-this kid is like THE REAL Forest Gump, his family, his aspirations...everything....three hours.] After about ten minutes of listening, I found it hard to focus and follow what he was saying. I was then convicted of not actually listening...not actually loving Caleb....I was just pretending. 


4.) Being away from someone gives you new appreciation for that someone and makes you realize how much you love them. I have never been away from home for a summer before, I have never missed Jake getting ready for the fair or hanging out with my babysitting kids. I have always been there. Yet this summer, I have realized how much family and my friends back home mean to me.  I have missed them like crazy. 

Naomi, Jake and I on his 11th Birthday. Man, I miss this kid.

5.) It is important to show your appreciation for people while they are alive. God has led me to really show people how much they mean to me. It is crazy to think about how people impact your life, even the people who didn't have huge roles for very long. Too often, we wait until the person dies to really realize how much they have done for us....that just seems wrong to me.


6.) All of those years in youth group really were filled with relevant lessons. There were so many times when I thought Pastor Mearl was teaching information that I would never need or use, but this summer I have used so much of it and his lessons have stuck with me. There are certain things that I will never forget. My stance on issues surrounding relationships, drinking, tattoos, shady behavior, personal devotionals.....things that I never thought I would actually used, I have.

Pastor Mearl and Angie.....have taught me more than I have ever realized

7.) Loving others requires you to know how they feel love. Love languages are a phrase that is frequently tossed around, however through different relationships, I have realized how true it is that we each feel love in different ways. In order to truly love someone, we need to love them in the way that they feel it, not in our own way. Naomi is a quality time person. I am a listening person/a show how well you know me person. Andrew is very much a quality time person, while I am more independent. Love requires sacrifice. 

8.) Living requires humility. There have been so many times this summer when I have had to ask for help, whether it's a little thing on the computers at work, or in how to cook something at home. God has reminded me that there is a God and it is not me, I am NOT capable of everything without help.  I have had to truly walk by faith and realize that I can't do it all on my own. I am so small compared to the grand scheme of things. 


9.) Geocaching is harder than one would think. Naomi and I have found 13 geocaches this summer....a great activity to fill in some of our down-time. They are EVERYWHERE! It just seems like they should be so much easier to find than what we have come to find out. For example, there is one at the Ghost Tracks that we have looked for for at least 4 hours with no find. We have also learned to geocache in the light because it gets rather shady if you keep on going at night...

Abrielle came to visit and we went Geocaching. Fail at this phone booth.

10.) I have the best friends a girl could ever dream of. I am blessed, this I have always known but this summer has reiteration how amazing my friends are. I literally could not imagine a better roommate than Naomi or better friends than mine. They are always there to pray for me, to chat, to hang out and just live life together and are so supportive of me. I truly am blessed.

 I know that there are plenty of other life lessons I have learned this summer, but these are the ones that really stick out. I can't wait to begin my Senior year but am totally NOT ready to move out of here, to have Naomi return to Colorado, to stop working in a great office and to end this great adventure. 

much love & prayer-Danni

ECHO. Echo. echo.

I will admit, I was creeping on my boyfriend's [two months later, and that is still super weird to say :)] sister's Facebook, which led me to her blog tonight. I honestly have no idea why I began this process...I think I went to write something on Andrew's facebook and then got sidetracked, never ending up writing on his wall-and I can't remember what I was going to tell him.  Anywho, I ended up reading quite a few of Ashley's blogs and scanning the ones that I was too tired to read. 

It's funny how when God wants something known, He will use every mode of media available to get His point across. My mind has been consumed with two thought paths lately....and every song, Bible verse, random note, sermon, television show-EVERYTHING- has reiterated these two topics. Ashley's blog did just that....I began tearing up reading one of her entries-baffled by how God uses random instances to express the words that my heart has been longing to hear...to voice...for quite some time now.

On the flip side, God isn't the only one that echoes His point over and over again until we choose to listen to it...and then continues to repeat it. Satan does as well. Satan echoes what he wants us to hear until we eventually break down and believe it. That's what I used to be sure of anyway, or atleast, that's what my life showed. Now, however, I am not so sure that he echoes only until we believe....I think he also stops if we get a bigger force to scream over top of Him. Satan's voice will keep persisting like the annoying little cricket chirp when you're trying to sleep until you listen to it....or until it is deafened by God's love alone.

 Each time we hear something like "Follow me" "You're beautiful" "You're Worthy of Love" "You're forgiven".......you are sure to hear "No!, Come with me, look at the fun you will have" "you're not beautiful yet, but I can get you there" "You can never be loved! Are you kidding?!" "Forgiveness?! You've screwed up too much". 

Our heart can't believe both sides of the echo at once....we, instead, must tune our ears to hear only the Voice of Truth [insert Casting Crown's lyrics here]. 

It's a battle....but the truth is, we are promised victory.

Much love & Prayer

Verb: It's what YOU do

I am an extremist personality. It's hot or it's freezing; it's sunny, or it's pouring down rain; it's all the way up, or it's all the way down; it's super exciting, or its dreadfully boring....that's just the way I am. You can ask my mom, she was constantly telling me to stop being so dramatic while jumping from one extreme to the other when I was growing up. 

This extreme personality plays a huge role in all of my relationships, including mine with God. I like to have all of the control...or give Him all control while I sit back and watch him work....yet, I have just recently realized that that isn't always the case. I have to let Him do what He does best...but I also have to do my fair share of the work. [once again, I still really have no idea what this looks like] 

My best friend and I have been reading through the Bible in a year: today while I was reading, I realized all the verb usage. [I'm an English major so I pay attention to these things...] We are now reading in 2nd Kings and wow...there are verbs everywhere! The people are constantly doing things. One man wanted healed, yet instead of God just snapping his fingers and healing him, God instructed the man to go bathe in one of the seas. The people were praying to an end of famine, yet God did not just beam food down from the heavens, the people had to work for it. 

There are so many situations in my life that I am constantly praying about while seeing little to no response from the Everlasting God. I am constantly praying for Him to move....yet I am learning that sometimes [probably many times] He is asking me to move instead. It's not enough for me to pray that something changes, I also must listen for God's direction on how to bring about that change. For example, one can pray for God to allow them to drop 150 pounds...but they aren't going to lose the weight just sitting on the couch praying....they must get up and move. 

I must move and trust that God will move also. The end.

Lord move in the way that I've never seen before. Out of this state of complacency into a world where I fellowship with thee. Lord move or move me. 

Hardy Hall Ekk: Beautiful Things

So each dorm puts together an Ekklesia each semester. Hardy Hall's was about a month ago and one of my girls taped it. Here is the youtube link for anyone who wants to see it. I am clearly a little biased but I thought it was fantastic!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_QBwF1pRag&feature=youtu.be 

A Smelly, Old Goat

    Today, I woke up and decided to do something instead of just sitting at home bored....or get a head start on my homework for Tuesday. I decided I would take the nice weather as an opportunity to trim the goat hooves that have needed done for awhile. I chose to do my favorite goat first...and after examining his coat, decided that a bath could help get rid of some of his dry skin. After doing a few other goats, I got the gumption to bathe our buck (fully intact male). For those of you who don't know....bucks attract females by urinating all over themselves. This buck is about three years old...a.k.a....three years of urine was built into his coat and he smells very bad. I got Willy into the stand, trying not to gag and began spraying him off. The water rinsed off a light brown color, that is how dirty he was. I worked for close to an hour to clean this thing, scrubby like crazy to get the built up urine to detach from his skin. When mom went out to feed him a few hours later, she was sad to report that the smell was back. His cleanness had only lasted for a few short hours before he peed all over himself again. stupid goat. 

        Being Easter weekend, I began thinking about this absurd behavior. I had just taken the action of cleaning Willy and all of his grime yet he went right back out and continued the action that got him all smelly. I find this disgusting, yet so often, I behave just like Willy. I cry out for forgiveness for all of those things that make me smelly....only to go right back to living my life and doing the very thing I had just been cleaned from. 
       I smell of sin. Other people are repulsed by me, yet Christ dared come close enough to me to clean me of my stench. Christ did this unthinkable action, yet I take it so lightly, I go right back to sinning and working up my smell. 
        that's absurd. stupid human. 

 Jesus paid it all
All to him I owe
Sin had left a crimson stain
He washed it white as snow

 

On Love...

I am normally not a fan of posting things from other people but I found this on Pinterest tonight and loved it.....
 
Back in 1958, John Steinbeck, author of East of Eden, The Grapes of Wrath, and Of Mice and Men, got a letter from his teenage son Thom, in which Thom confessed that he had fallen desperately in love with a girl named Susan at his boarding school.

Steinbeck wrote this wise and wonderful letter back to him the same day...

New York
November 10, 1958
Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa