A New Name

I was saving two seats for friends when I went to church today. I was the only one in the row and nobody had bothered to sit next to me so I didn't even bother putting something on the two neighboring seats to ensure room for my friends. However, just minutes before the sermon was supposed to start, and just seconds before my friends would walk through the sanctuary doors, an elderly man came and sat in my row, leaving only one seat empty beside me.

If you know me, you know that I am one of the least confrontational people you will ever meet and I am absolutely shy when it comes to strangers. There was no way I could muster up the courage to ask this man to scoot over a seat, though there was plenty of room to his left. I would let him be, even if that meant that I would be sitting alone for the service, surrounded on all four sides by people I didn't know. [not to mention, they were adults that I did not know...which makes it all that much worse.] 

I was nervous to say the least. What if the preacher said something especially moving and I teared up? What if the Spirit really stirred in my heart, leading me to tears or kneeling and praying? What if the worship rang in my heart, probing me to raise a hand? What if the people around me neglected to sing, making my voice the loud one though usually out of tune?

Of course the sermon would start out with a saddening movie featuring children starving and neck deep in poverty in the Dominican Republic. [I can't even watch one of those commercials about starving dogs without tearing up, much less adorable children] I could feel a tear welling in my eye. The speaker continued, causing me to laugh a few times and sit in a state of solemn prayer after all was said and done. The worship was heartfelt, leading me to hold out my hand as a flag of surrender.

It was freeing. I allowed God to move me however He wanted regardless of the strangers surrounding me. I realized that even though I typically sit next to people I feel completely at home with, I still restrict the God of the Universe so that I don't act in any way that others may not appreciate. I am worshiping the God who sent His son to bare a crown of thorns yet I am still totally self-conscious.

Ironically [if there is irony in Christianity] the sermon was on "Wow moments" The moments that God gives us a new name, leading us to complete surrender. Once again, ironically, my name "Danielle" means "God is my judge" yet I often allow other people to trump this judge. Today God different give me a new name, He graced me with confidence in my old one.